And here are some more:
1. Why won’t the elephant use the computer?
Because he’s afraid of the mouse!
2. Why is six afraid of seven?
Because 7 8 9.
3. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
4. Why did the volcano get the best results at school?
Because it was active!
5. What kind of key does not open a lock?
A mon-key!
I too hate these word crimes 🙂
[Intro]
Everybody shut up, WOO!
Everyone listen up!
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
[Verse 1]
If you can’t write in the proper way
If you don’t know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class
And maybe now you find
That people mock you online
[Bridge]
Okay, now here’s the deal
I’ll try to educate ya
Gonna familiarize
You with the nomenclature
You’ll learn the definitions
Of nouns and prepositions
Literacy’s your mission
And that’s why I think it’s a
[Chorus]
Good time
To learn some grammar
Now, did I stammer
Work on that grammar
You should know when
It’s “less” or it’s “fewer”
Like people who were
Never raised in a sewer
I hate these word crimes
Like I could care less
That means you do care
At least a little
Don’t be a moron
You’d better slow down
And use the right pronoun
Show the world you’re no clown
[Verse 2]
Say you got a “It”
Followed by apostrophe, “s”
Now what does that mean?
You would not use “it’s” in this case
As a possessive
It’s a contraction
What’s a contraction?
Well, it’s the shortening of a word, or a group of words
By the omission of a sound or letter
[Bridge]
Okay, now here’s some notes
Syntax you’re always mangling
No X in “Espresso”
Your participle’s danglin’
But I don’t want your drama
If you really wanna
Leave out that Oxford comma
Just keep in mind that
“be”,”see”
[Chorus]
“are”, “you”
Are words, not letters
Get it together
Use your spellchecker
You should never
Write words using numbers
Unless you’re seven
Or your name is Prince
I hate these word crimes
You really need a
Full-time proofreader
You dumb mouthbreather
Well, you should hire
Some cunning linguist
To help you distinguish
What is proper English
[Verse 3]
One thing I ask of you
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Learn to diagram a sentence too
Always say to whom
Don’t ever say to who
And listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
If you finished second grade
I hope you can tell you could tell
If you’re doing good or doing well
Figure out the difference
Irony is not coincidence
And, I thought that you’d gotten it through your skull
What’s figurative and what’s literal
Oh but, just now, you said
You “literally couldn’t get out of bed”
That really makes me want to literally
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
[Chorus]
I read your e-mail
It’s quite apparent
Your grammar’s errant
You’re incoherent
Saw your blog post
It’s really fantastic
That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
’Cause you write like a spastic
I hate these Word Crimes
Your prose is dopey
Think you should only
Write in emoji
Oh, you’re a lost cause
Go back to preschool
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool
[Outro]
Never mind I give up
Really now I give up
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Go Away!
Go and visit http://pop.genius.com/Weird-al-yankovic-word-crimes-lyrics#note-3435166 for explanations 🙂
TO SCRUB (skrʌb)
to rub hard in order to clean
pl szorować; de schrubben
TO STIR (stɜː)
to mix food or liquid by moving it around with a spoon
pl mieszać, de umrühren
TO SLAVE (sleɪv)
to work very hard
pl harować; de schuften
Amen to that!
said to show that you agree strongly with something that someone has just said
PET PEEVE (pɛt piːv)
something that bugs you, irritates you or drives you nuts, but doesn’t necessarily bother anyone else around you
pl coś, co wkurza
de das Hauptärgernis
Here are some of my pet peeves (or bugbears) in random order (from: http://www.getannoyed.com/)
1) TV shows and commercials ads with ringing doorbells or phones, which make you into thinking the sound is coming from your house.
2) When it’s raining and you turn your car off before you turn the wipers off, and they stop in the middle of the windshield, so you turn the car back on, the wipers off, and then the car off.
3) When someone tries to talk to you when you have headphones on.
4) When I’m having a coversation with someone, & I’m in the middle of telling a story and some rude idiot comes walking up and starts a conversation with the person I’m talking to…as if I’m not even there!
5) Mispronunciation of words.
6) Grocery clerks that want to bundle the receipt with my change. Hand me the money separately so I can put it in my pocket, and then hand me the receipt or place it in the bag.
7) Taking forever to leave a parking space while others are clearly waiting for it.
8) People who let dogs that jump up on everyone loose in public.
9) Drivers who don’t use a turn signal.
10) People who sit next to you on public transportation (or in my case – the cinema) even when there are other seats available.
11) People who whistle!
Do you agree with me? What are your pet peeves?
You just have to see this trailer! It’s one of the most ridiculous things I have EVER seen in my life! It’s “a campy horror-comedy about a group of hot and horny teens that heads to a cabin in the woods, only to have their vacation cut short by undead beavers“. It’s taking zombies to the next level. So stupid that it’s awesome! 🙂
Read more here: http://www.uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2014/02/heres-trailer-zombeavers-aka-greatest-movie-2014/
Ok, so I watched this yesterday:
and it gave me a great idea for a post, namely, let’s list the most inventive ways to die! Ok, maybe some of them (especially at the beginning of the list) are not so ingenious but I had to start from something.
Let’s start!
You can be:
1) shot – zastrzelony
2) stabbed/ knifed – zadźgany nożem
3) hanged – powieszony
4) strangled – uduszony
5) beheaded – pozbawiony głowy
6) electrocuted – porażony prądem
7) blown up/ exploded – wysadzony w powietrze, eksplodowany
8) ice picked – zadźgany szpikulcem do lodu
9) axed and woodchipped – zabity siekierą i wrzucony do rębaka do drewna
10) bow and arrowed – zabity strzałą z łuku
11) beaten to death – pobity na śmierć
12) eaten by pigs – zjedzony przez świnie
13) stampeded by cows – zadeptany przez uciekające w popłochu krowy
14) dismembered by horses – rozczłonkowany przez konie
Can you think of any other creative ways to be killed? If so, let me know in the comments below 🙂
I watch some of the TV shows and by some I mean A LOT. I particularly like sitcoms, such as Friends, HIMYM, The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, The Middle, Cougar Town and many many more but I also watch longer series such as Once Upon a Time, Revenge or The Walking Dead. And there’s one thing that I can say for sure: they are best consumed in one giant marathon 🙂
BINGE (bɪndʒ)
when you do too much of something, for example, eating or drinking
przesadzić z czymś; objadać się
And which shows do you watch or binge-watch? 😉
Time for English 